Feel like a failure, who failed in her life. Forever, feel like a loser, this is a piece of shit. What am I doing here? Before this, I dreamt, I planned my future, although sometimes I'm a bit lost in direction, BUT i'm determined to achieve it. Its always like a match on fire, although its small, i could push myself, i put so much effort to move, to achieve it. I set my target, i told myself, I must achieve it! Well, it was BEFORE! I'm totally and truly disappointed at myself. What am I doing? Where are the efforts all gone to? Why did I worked so hard for? Where are the outcomes? I supposed the fruit is growing, but it's not! ITS NOT c'mon girl perhaps its time to stop dreaming! Why am I still wasting time and money here? With this piece of shitty result, I might as well roll back home and sit at home. Well, i admitted that I wasn't really prepared for this, Muet exam, lecturer never a give proper guide line, we have to study on our own. But other people could score, why can't I? Blame myself, yea I deserved it. Shitty effort = shitty result! I spent a lot on this. Hey girl, you think taking Muet exam is cheap? One hundred and one bulks for the exam fee, plus your seventy two bulks for the bus tickets, and a few hundred bulks for air ticket, YOU THINK ITS CHEAP? Seriously slam your face against the wall right now!! This is a waste of time and money! You think you can earn money so easily? C'mon put more effort! There's no time to be wasted, do you know your time is freaking precious, it's like GOLD, hold it tight 'cause every second you're wasting now, you're going to pay for it!
Term One result and Muet result really pulled me to the bottom of my life. I could blame no one, it's all of my effort that i poured. I know it on my own. I'm unlike those genius, I've to work real hard to survive here. I would've controlled myself. I must study, its MY RESPONSIBLE! Now, there's nothing else more important than studies. I must get my ass on a seat in Degree! There's nothing for me to worry, nothing to think of anymore, except studies! Please get your mind clear! Crying after getting shitty results is not helping!!
After crying and realizing all these, I'm a bit awake now. The only thing I should start doing now is light up my matches and get going. Not trying to push myself, but motivate myself to get up! I do not want to get such shameful result in the coming term anymore! It's enough! Let the past be the past, let it be a lesson to motivate me. Know your own responsibility! I must get back to the right path, get back my confident, be determine and persevere to do it. I'll keep reminding myself the shitty result , not to pull myself down, but to get my ass up and work for it!
I'M DETERMINED TO ACHIEVE MY TARGET, TO SUCCESS!!!
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
jiayou! don't ever give up !!!!!
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