Sometimes, i just feel like tearing myself into pieces. i hate when there's time where only tears could wash away all the pain. i hate crying over somethin. Something that i know no longer worth my tears.
I had terrible days. Deep down in my heart, i feel like crying out loud and just die. zzzz
But now, i think i'm okaey already.
updating some still fresh memories.
Highlights of December 20121. 1st December 2012.
My first time visiting orphanage. we were there for Christmas celebration with the orphans! didn't really enjoy the celebration cuz it was kinda bored to me. everyone seemed busy with their own stuffs and we didn't really bond with the kids there. what really touches my heart was looking at them made me realized how blessed am i. seeing them singing so happily, running around chasing each other, like woo the world is still new, its just the starting so lets party!. Most of them are only 4-6years old, i understood how they feel i bet they barely know what the world is happening and all about parents and so on. But seeing the older ones suddenly pierced my heart. I tried to put myself in their shoes.
-i tried to imagine, if my parents weren't there to celebrate some important day, especially my birthday how would i feel. maybe i won't even know when's my birthday.
-i tried to imagine if my mum weren't there to listen to my up and down
-i tried to imagine seeing my friend's daddy and mummy sending and picking them up from school
-i tried to imagine if i couldn't get to taste my mum's dishes
-i tried to imagine growing up without parent's love and support
There were a lot of stuffs running through my little brain. That really taught me to really appreciate what i have now.
2. 12/12/12
i guess it was just another ordinary day. nothing special but it was a very nice date. but yay once in a lifetime.
3. 13/12/2012
Joined Aimst Christian Fellowship Christmas Event! It was awesome cuz i really enjoyed although i almost loss my voice. Memorable early christmas celebration (:
4. 17/12/2012
Right, "results" the word that really scared me off. Everyone was so excited to get their results and even asked the lecturer to end the class early. I actually wanted to wait till they send my results to my parents, after finish scolding then i go claim my result. till.......i was very sick of mum's nagging, kept asking about results and everything. everytime we talk about result always ended up quarreling. So, after a week later, on this very one day, i went to collect my results alone. i was very very very scared because i received some not very good feedback from some friends. recalling the exam time had already pulled me down cuz i did very badly. i screwed up most of the papers, i thought. But before looking at my result, i prayed to God. and i think my prayer had answered by Him. The result was okaey, out of my expectation, i thought i would have failed some. The result slowly cheered me up and gave me confidence, believe in myself that i can do better! I really thanked those who had helped me in my studies. (:
5. 2012.2012
The most awesome date ever! (:
6. 21/12/2012
Its holiday! The start of holiday, if only i can meet my beloved family. I miss mum! Adeh, she didn't call me today. Haiz. This date reminded me of something very funny. A friend of mine, she was talking to her mum, and they talked about the doomsday which was supposed to be today. LOL! we all know it wont happen. She told her mum, "no worries mum, on the 21st to 23rd i won't enter the lift to make sure i won't get trapped and die there". Hahaa.. So this afternoon, i went to the library, i wanted to go to my class which was at the 3rd floor. I pressed the button for the lift and got frightened cuz there was no light. it was dark in the lift. i almost decided to walk the stairs but the lights suddenly on, but kept blinking. it was very creepy and still this very brave girl walked in and i'm still here didn't got stucked in the lift yo!(: Went swimming with housemate. it was damn nice cause there were no one else in the pool except both of us! i feel very shy when there's some other people there. noob like me should stay out when there's pro there O:
I miss her!
everyone is having tang yuen except me. *cries*
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